Fake Wedding Rings

wedding-ring-on-finger-web

 

It’s another phenomenon I’m still trying to fully comprehend, single girls wearing fake wedding rings.  Has the glorification of marriage actually risen to the point of literally bowing down to idols of gold and silver?  I understand the main reason they are worn is to “ward off” unwanted men.  But I think someone with halfway a degree of discernment can avoid that.  From a cultural point of view, what is that saying about men today?  If they see all of them as wild dogs with their eyeballs popping out of their head, it can’t be too good.  It seems that this phenomenon even reinforces the old stereotype that women are blind and stoic creatures, at the mercy of whatever meat falls in their lap. And in my opinion it does objectify women, denying the natural male-female attraction.  What does it say about the kind of men they want to marry?  Do they expect to find him with eyes fix on their bodies, down on his knees proposing marriage before even meeting him? 

The finger ring goes all the way back to the time of the Egyptians.  The Bible indicates that the signet ring was used in Egypt as a symbol for authority and identification.  And Pliny the Elder told the story of how Prometheus was accused of stealing fire for Zeus and shackled in chains.  He was eventually pardoned and forced to wear a remnant of one of the links as punishment.   You can even read about the signet ring in Genesis 41:41-44 when the “Pharaoh took off his ring from his hand, and put it upon Joseph’s hand, and arrayed him in vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck.”  And the wearing of bethrothal rings can  be traced to ancient Rome.  Around 70 AD, they were being made from iron and approximately the second century gold was introduced.  Most scholars agree that they started out as secular symbols, but were quickly sanctioned by the church.  By the 11th century, they were part of the benediction in the wedding ceremony. 

Down through the centuries, wedding rings have been used to symbolize a couple’s commitment to each other.  And just as important, they have been used to communicate who is available and who is not available for marriage.  Single men have relied on them to answer that question in less than a second, thus avoiding any awkwardness or miscommunication. 

Symbols play an important role when it comes to passing values from generation to generation.  One of the values we don’t need to pass to the next generation is objectification of women.  Playing musical chairs with wedding rings only adds to this problem.  Not to mention what it does to honesty and trust. The only time I can think of for a single to wear one is if they’re positively not going to marry.  Who knows, in a few years, you may be able to choose if you want to be a man or women on any particular day.  I don’t think that’s the society we want to build for the next generation.

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2 thoughts on “Fake Wedding Rings

  1. I am in a committed long-term relationship. My boyfriend of five years and I plan to get married and have discussed it repeatedly, but he hasn’t proposed yet (I’m pretty sure he is saving up for a ring–he is a graduate student and doesn’t make much money). I am a librarian and I work at a public information desk. About once a week I am asked for a date or otherwise hit on by male customers. I am considering buying a fake ring because their attention makes me uncomfortable and because I am NOT available, even though I am not formally engaged yet. Since it’s part of my job to sit at the desk and answer people’s questions, I can’t use my ‘discernment’ to avoid having interactions with people who might purse me romantically. Do you object to the use of a fake ring in this situation?

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    • Emma – Thanks for responding. I would not recommend wearing a ring until he asks you to marry him. I’ve known a lot of girls who were pretty sure, but turned out to be very disappointed. Then they regretted having closed the door on so many other guys. If you feel you are unavailable, then you need to turn up the heat on your boyfriend to propose. You can tell him you don’t need an expensive ring right now. As a matter of fact, if his economic circumstances don’t allow for the real thing, then I think a fake ring is certainly appropriate as an engagement ring.

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