What’s Different About A Virgin?

The Flower Muse by Marlina Vera

1. She has love that goes beyond her own family, a love that knows no limits. It extends to strangers on the street and to people who are suffering. Most importantly, she loves all men equally until the day she marries. She is open-minded and does not let boyfriends or anybody else prevent her from being kind to others. She is a professional lover of all men.

2. She has a joyful and thankful heart, one that is not just happy with superficial circumstances. She is content in knowing that, even though her work may not be rewarded on earth, there will be an eternal reward one day. She is always aware that there are those less fortunate than her and everything she has is through the grace of God. Her joy does not depend on this world. She can laugh and be laughed at with no problems.

3. She is at peace with herself and everybody else. She knows how to agree to disagree without arguing. She does not hold grudges and knows how to forgive. She defends what is just, but doesn’t take sides on petty issues – chooses her battles carefully. She knows that her real peace is from Christ who freed her from sin and death, and that the concern of the Holy Spirit living within her is life and peace (Romans 8:6).

4. She shows patience towards other people, even those who disagree with her. She puts other people’s schedules above her own schedule. She is able to accept anybody into her life, even if they create difficult situations for her. She is able to tolerate people who get on nerves. She is able to keep her boat afloat in the midst of angry waves, throwing out as many life rafts as she can. She does not let the behavior of other people dictate her priorities. She puts little stock in opinion polls or statistics charts. Her behavior is governed by grace and understanding. She is willing to wait, even if she is last. Her watch is set on eternity’s time.

5. Her kindness reflects the Holy Spirit in her heart. She is not angry or bitter and accepts what she has with gratitude. She does not stereotype people based on their age, gender, class, or marital status. She shows compassion to others, treating them as she would want to be treated, and is always looking for ways she can help people. She does not compare herself to other women. Most importantly, she guards her heart – but does not lock out kindness.

6. She is generous with her time and possessions and is uncomfortable with having more. She gives anonymously and does not let her left hand know what her right hand is doing. She can give without expecting something in return. She can receive without expecting to give something in return. She engages the world with humbleness and meets people where they are. She knows the value of intangible things like time, effort, listening, ideas, visits, etc. She knows the value of heirlooms and knows that what may priceless to her may be of no value to the world.

7. She has a spontaneous temperament and does not have to set appointments for everything she does. Her honesty allows reactions that are not scripted. She understands that time is short on this earth compared to eternity and strives to make the most of every second – like it was the last second in time. She is concerned that she missed an opportunity.

8. She is faithful, not only to God, but to her friends and family. She does what she says and gives everything her best effort. She is consistent.

9. She has a gentleness that sets her apart from other women. Even-tempered. Not envious of other people. Not prideful. She is willing to submit her whole self to God without thought of her own comfort, which is last on her list of priorities. She is wise in words and deeds. She has no expectations and makes no assumptions. She is humble and knows she doesn’t have all the answers, embraces a mystery. She is not afraid of being viewed as weak because her strength is not in the world. She is as serene as a dandelion seed in the wind. She can count her losses, but knows she has more spiritual collateral at the end of the day. She can sing a new song without looking at the words, talk to a child on his level, and pour lemonade for the school fundraiser.

10. Her life is marked by chastity. In a world out of control, this is where she stands out. She has a pure heart that is not fragmented or confused. She does not live seeking her own pleasure, but sacrifices herself for the good of others, to bring them closer to Christ. Her identify does not depend on men and she knows what her boundaries are when it comes to romance. She does not attempt to have a sexual relationship until she is married. Her confidence comes from Christ only, not a man. A man does not define her sexuality. Her passions are mediated by temperance and self-restraint. They are sublimated by friendships with her neighbors. She is able to give herself to God with an undivided heart. Her celibacy is a positive witness to the world.

11. She is modest and doesn’t use her skin to attract men. She doesn’t draw attention to herself with excessive makeup, jewelry, etc. Doesn’t try to keep up with the latest fashion trends. She doesn’t use her sexuality outside the will of God. She also doesn’t have to have the best of everything, nor does she expect to have it all. Her comfort is last on her list of priorities. She is frugal and doesn’t envy what other people have. She is conservative with her money and does not gamble with it. She has better things to do with her money than spend it on fitness clubs and tanning booths.

12. She understands life and death and knows how to grieve. She is acutely aware of our temporary station in this world. She respects other people’s losses and memories of their loved ones.

13. She knows how to contemplate, how to temporarily shut out the world and meditate on Christ. Prayer is the center of her life and she makes time for it.

14. She is honest with herself and others and doesn’t try to hide the truth, even when it may be uncomfortable.

15. Even when things get dark, she has hope for tomorrow which is based on the mercy of God. She is always anticipating a miracle. Her faith is bigger than the headlines.

16. Her mercy extends to people on the margins of society; the disabled, elderly, mentally ill, abused, homeless, etc. She does not consider herself more important. If she finds someone she can’t help, she goes the extra mile to find someone who can.

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