False Assumptions


Assumptions have become so much a part of our everyday life that it’s difficult to tell the biblical from the non-biblical. Yes, there are issues about sexuality that are not addressed in the Bible. And our human brains are pretty good at filling in the blanks with worldly expectations. But that does not mean that God is silent. If you know him, he speaks to your heart. He writes his laws in your heart. But all the wisdom of God and all the wisdom you need to know to be fruitful on this earth cannot be contained within the pages of one book. That’s why a relationship with him is imperative before we stoke the flames of a romantic relationship. If marriage is for you, it’s absolutely necessary to be able to discern the right person to marry. But doesn’t discernment take time?

If there’s one word in the English language I would change the definition of, it would be “wait.” According to the Oxford dictionary, it means: “Stay where one is, or delay action until a particular time or until something else happens.” A hundred years ago, waiting was probably looked at more favorably. It was associated with the hope that people of the depression era had to have to survive. It was associated with the conservative values that America was built on. More importantly, waiting was associated with Christians who were looking for the second coming of Christ. But today we have an America of gluttony. Nobody waits to get what they want. Today we have an America that has been taken over by the liberal agenda where everybody has a right to everything. Today we have an America where the majority are not Christians and are not looking for anything except their next dollar and moment of pleasure. To them, waiting has no more meaning than standing in a checkout line, lining up at a service station, and waiting on the interest rates to go up.

But we must rise above these assumptions and maintain the dignity that was once associated with waiting. If we put everything in perspective, which is more important: Waiting faithfully for a spouse or waiting faithfully for the second coming of Christ? Which signal do we send the world? How are we defining the “wait” in waiting for marriage to have sex? If we follow the Oxford dictionary, we are “delaying action.” I’d say we’re following God’s will for our lives. It’s sort of like asking someone who is parked at a red light “Hey, are you driving on the road?” That should be obvious, right? The same thing applies to our lives. Our walk with Christ should be so obvious that no one has to ask “Are you waiting for marriage to have sex?” We should not shirk from breaking assumptions, from putting the positive back into waiting. I like the word anticipation better. Advent is built on anticipation. Whether we marry or not, all Christians are anticipating the return of Christ. That timing is completely in his hands. It is not something we delay. Do we stand idle until that time? Certainly not. We have the Great Commission:

Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. Matthew 28:19-20.

He made no mention of go ye therefore and find our spouse. He made no mention of planning our marriage. He made no mention of planning our children. If we go forth and teach about Christ, there is no need to put a label of “dating” or “courting” on every relationship we have. If we cherish friends, there is no need to sexualize every person we meet. When we adopt the assumptions of the world, we are telling everybody that finding a spouse is more important than leading people to Christ. We are all walking testaments of either the world’s assumptions or heavenly expectations.

Advent this year is November 30th to December 24th. What are you waiting for?


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