This evening I was looking through the Facebook groups that had the words purity, waiting or virtue in their titles and couldn’t help but notice that at least 90% of their members are women. And if you do an internet search on these words, you’ll find the same stark double standard. Nearly all of the articles, interviews, books, speeches, etc. that have anything to do with abstinence have been written by women. Why are women held to higher standards than men? Is it because they have a hymen and men don’t? Is it because they get pregnant and men don’t? If this is the case, then civilization has dipped to a status below the apes. It shouldn’t be this way, men. It takes two people with equal respect for each other to come together in marriage. It only takes two people with hormones to come together in recreational sex. Sexual purity is just as much our responsibility as it is women’s. Do you like the idea of having your honeymoon night bombarded with the memories of past sexual encounters? You won’t be able to stop them. And you won’t be able to give your wife all the man you could have been if you’ve already given a part of yourself away. Do you think she’ll care? Do you think she’ll think about the other women? I’ll let you answer that for yourself. There’s no way another woman can walk into your temple, make dinner and a special dessert, and leave without a trace. Godly women can discern. They are waiting on more than a grinding tool. They like to think they are waiting on Boaz, not Bozo. Self control is what makes a real man, not how much action he can get. I’m proud to be a real man. Is it easy? Absolutely not. You may be laughed at, called names, and even avoided by your buddies. Living a Christian life is not all cotton candy. There’s a lot of sacrifice. I encourage you not to make mistakes today that you will regret for the rest of your lives. Self control doesn’t cost you anything. But the lack of it can be very expensive.
Single ladies who are looking for marriage – It’s pretty obvious that we live in the information age. With smart phones and laptops, it’s easy to think that all the knowledge of the world is at our fingertips. But it’s not. There are mysteries that scientists will never understand, and they include human sexuality and the creation of new life. It’s your responsibility to respect what virtuous men don’t know. It reminds me of a Brian Adams song that was out some years ago called “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman.” The lyrics include these words:
To really love a woman, let her hold you
Til’ you know how she needs to be touched
You’ve gotta breathe her, really taste her
Til’ you can feel her in your blood
An’ when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman
A Christian guy who is also waiting on marriage will not know how to “really love a woman” because he hasn’t found the right one yet. More than likely he will feel really awkward in the pornographic world we live in. There’s a lot you can do about that. Start talking. When he knows how much you value self control, that will take a lot of guesswork out of the whole dating process. It will also help you avoid the Bozos.