Maidens Waiting For Marriage In A Fallen World

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This post is to encourage ladies who not only believe in saving sex until marriage, but are also living the life.  It is for those who have waited, are waiting, and will wait.  If you’ve made mistakes, are forgiven, and waiting again – that is perfectly fine and I tip my hat to you.  But this message is for those who are still waiting.  The difference in the support needed is like comparing apples to oranges.  It is in no way meant to be judgmental.

For those of you who have publicly identify yourselves, created blogs of encouragement for men and women who are still waiting, written books on purity, even spoken to groups on chastity and abstinence — Thank you so much.  My hat not only tips, it goes off to you.   I am very aware of your security concerns.  I had the same about a year ago when I started this blog.   I know many of you have had to deal with everything from email attacks to blog bombs – demonstrating perseverance and courage beyond the call of duty.  Your visible witness not only matters to a few men today, but it defends the future of Christian virtue for your children and grandchildren.  Silence in the midst of a dark world will always be filled with noise and decadence.  Thank you for speaking up.  It matters.

If you ever come to a point where you think “I’m the only virgin left in the world” or “there’s not a guy my age waiting anymore,” remember that you’re not the only one left and that there are still guys who treasure you.  In the world we live in today, I know that is difficult to believe.  When you look out a window that’s  layered with fog, specks of light become very difficult to see.   There are Christian guys looking out the same window, who see the same fog.  So no matter what the statistics tell you and when you want to throw up your hands and say “that’s a one in a million man,” be conscious of how you present yourself in public because . . . he could be there.  No matter if it’s a service station, grocery store, post office.  Real men live.  God still intervenes to bring people together.  You may have to decide which is more important – his career and financial success or that he is a man of God waiting with you, waiting to be equally yoked with you.

I do realize that for some of you publicly identifying yourself seems impossible – whether it be from embarrassment, security issues, privacy, etc.  You may find it more comfortable to graze from blog to blog, hiding in the shadows of anonymity.  But we are in a war and darkness needs to be exposed to light.  If ugly words hurled at you bring you to your knees today, you need to rethink your commitment to wait.  It’s going to take tougher skin than that.  In order to affirm something, you must be willing to defend it.  At one time in history, knights defended maidens at all costs.  It was known as chivalry.  So every chance we get, let’s show the world what it is missing.  Show men with dignity and self control that they are worth more than a distrustful glance, an anonymous email, or adolescent games.  There really is no gray area here.  You either build a guy up to what he can be or you tear him down to what he used to be.  It’s your choice.

So to all of you who are waiting – Carry your commitments just as strong into 2014.  It’s God’s design.  And it’s what’s best for us.  Be bold.  Be strong.  Wait.

John

Thank you to –

http://forteebello.com/

http://www.juliaduin.com/

http://www.arleenspenceley.com/

http://www.susanmires.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Godswomaninwaiting – Rachel Hamilton

http://www.silverringthing.com/

https://www.facebook.com/PrincessesPrincesPursuingPurity

https://www.facebook.com/abstinenceuntilmarriage

http://www.timtebowfoundation.org/

http://www.runlolorun.com

Sexual Purity And The Youth Stereotype

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In my humble opinion, it’s the biggest mistake made by today’s churches and is the number one contributing factor to our society of sexual immorality  — assigning the virtue of sexual purity to youth while dismissing its importance for never married adults.  This stereotype is so all encompassing that it makes me dizzy thinking about all the layers that have to be peeled off to expose the biblical truth.  There’s been a lot of talk about sex lately in the news which, unfortunately, shines a bright light on this hypocrisy — thereby weakening the church’s stand on social issues such as same sex marriage, abortion, adultery, etc.   The Bible never puts an age limit on sexual purity and never mentions youth groups, youth pastors, college churches, purity balls for teenage girls, sex education for teens, etc.  But they are so engrained in church tradition today that it’s hard for most people to separate tradition from obedience.  You may be tempted to ask:  “But does it have to be in the Bible to be used today?”  My answer is – when it comes to teaching and modeling sexual values in the 21st century, all of them have to be based on the Bible.  What this limitation does, in effect, is add to the bible.  God’s word clearly tells us we cannot do that:  For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book.” Revelations 22:18.  The addition of age-based purity is just as grave as adding another disciple to God’s word.  The consequences of this have been devastating over the last 20 years.  It reinforces the notion that sexual purity is not possible in adulthood.  It denies that many of the saints reached adulthood.  It denies that Jesus reached adulthood.  What we have left is strictly an adolescent Bible, one that is cute and cuddly and friendly to women and children.  One that is politically correct and comfortable to all.  A Bible as palpable as cotton candy.   What we don’t have is an adult Bible, the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God, slicing through contemporary debates.  God’s infinite wisdom and truth gets no deeper than children’s church, no deeper than the golden calf of marriage and family.  Standards are lowered, expectations are lowered, and the cycle continues.

Nowhere is this more evident than in the written word today.  The subject of sexual purity in books and magazines is almost always approached from the perspective of a concerned parent (True Love Waits, etc).  And in the blogosphere world, 90+% of all articles related to purity are covered by young emotionally charged Catholic girls, 20-somethings who see themselves as experts on all things purity.  Even the negative phrase “purity culture” has been coined to describe them.  It has it’s own language, mindset, and personality.  Since they don’t know what purity is in the adult world, these young writers are typically judgmental, distrustful of all older single men, and bash single men every chance they get.  Most pervasive is the distrust of older single men.   On these blogs, men have been reduced to no more than a drunken bloat sitting at a bar looking for his next skirt to chase.  The patience and self control of older chaste single men has become . . . fantasy.   There are exceptions, of course.  One blogger even remarked that:  “If we lower the bar, he doesn’t have to exist.”  In many ways, we don’t exist today.  Some of these young writers have even stated that it’s inappropriate for 50-60 year old single adults to date.   Many churches have left the job of setting standards of virtue to women.  That’s the main reason so many churches are feminized today, driving real men away, older single men who are just as pure as the purity ball queens.  If these double standards are brought to their attention, their number one defense is numbers – “There are just so few of these men.”  I know I’ve said this before — God’s power and faithfulness is not limited by statistics and numbers.  All of us who are living lives of purity must allow for the supernatural and number-defying workings of God.  We must respect and trust each other, whether it’s in day to day encounters or in the digital world.